Case study #1: Controlling husband
Sample: A coll who got married recently
1. When the wife is mad and goes offline, the husband calls her handphone. She turns it off, he calls the office phone. When she lifted it off the hook, he called the office general line. The receptionist called the coll and asked what happened.
- While I would very much like my partner to pujuk me if I am mad, the extent of calling the general line is a no-no.
2. The husband calls before lunch, after lunch, after work when she is already on the way to meet him and I don't know when else.
- Ok, I don't know what his intentions were. They might be out of love and concern for her safety but I see them as being possessive. I wonder how they managed to do work when they talk so much on the phone during working hours.
3. Post-marriage change
- Before marriage, he sent her to the annual dinner. After being engaged, he said he doesn't know where this year’s dinner is, no need to go. So she is the only one who didn’t come.
4. He told her ‘Don't buy lingerie like oldies. Buy something that can attract me’ (his exact words in MSN, it was copy pasted for me)
- Sounds like his wife is his sex toy. I found it insulting.
5. He asked her to call off her bachelorette party, but he himself had one and even to the extent of having ‘girls’, before the wife found out and ‘trimmed’ it. She found out on his FB that a friend said he could only afford to bring one girl, a Filipino. After much argument, the guys didn’t spend a night in Phuket as planned, but came back that night itself from some place nearby.
- Who is he to disallow his wife to have a party? Especially when it was already being planned.
- Then, he shouldn't have double standards to have one
- A bachelorette party is very unlikely to ‘go out of control’, but here they were talking about Filipino girls
- It was definitely up to no good as he kept asking her to go back to her parents’ house instead and he would send her there, when previously he kept saying that he isn't free to send her.
In that last argument on bachelor party, his justification was that his friends ‘took the effort to meet up’, so why wouldn’t she let him go? For 2 obvious reasons: I can’t have one but you can? And your party has hookers! They argued over MSN and he said that she would only miss him 40 years later when he is dead. He wants to wake up but he can’t.. yada yada. Drama, typical of that certain race.
Anyway, I’m glad that they are finally happily married and are still off for their long honeymoon in Phuket (this also with lots of arguments). As Timmy said, whatever floats their boat. And their wedding card states the husband’s occupation before his name, “Engr.” :D :D
Case study #2: <1-year marriage
Sample: Childhood friend of 16 years
The husband goes out a lot after work when he should be more ‘domesticated’ now that he is married.
She let him out 2 nights per week but it became more than that. She kept track in her pc of the days he went out and used that as ‘evidence’. She said he wasn’t like this before and was frustrated and said that she wants to divorce.
I dismissed it. People say and think these kinda things in an argument. But I was shocked when I received her sms saying that she is down cos she is divorcing her husband. What happened was he had felt that there were problems a year or 2 before their marriage but thought they try and work it out. Unfortunately, it cannot be worked out and he has also fallen for someone else.
Problem is he never told her of his doubts before the marriage, how is she supposed to know and work it out. Whether that was used to soften the fact that he has fallen for someone else, I don't know. 1 year is truly short, although what people don't see was that it was an extension of a 7-year relationship. But marriage is well, marriage. Ending it is not like ending a relationship. People stick together despite being cheated on, abused etc. It is hard though to say that they should give it another try, for the trust is no longer there.
Nevertheless, his frequent going outs were not to see the other person. He couldn’t face her at home, so he went off. I must say that my friend can be a difficult person to live with too but we can’t point fingers at one person. Actually, the marriage isn't even a year if calculated by the time they signed the papers.
Case study #3: Her over family
Sample: A bank assistant sales manager that I met for the first time
He came to Klang from Penang to be with his gf of 4 years found a job in Port Klang. She quit the job after a few months, joined another company, fell in love with a coll there and left him. My mother finished the story before I could tell her the ending. So he continues working here since he has built his client base here and will go home once his career moves further up.
- the things people sacrifice and get in return. But of course, staying on in a relationship due to gratitude is one thing that one should never ever do; it won’t work. It’s torturous, hanging around without any feelings except that of gratitude.
Of course there are many other happy endings; these were just meant to share strange things that happen in a relationship.
The caption of Gubra says, “Why do we hurt the most, The ones we love the most?”
No comments:
Post a Comment