...

Emotionally, I’m gonna explode. Feel like a time bomb waiting to go off. I’m not thinking much of it but feel a bit like a wreck. Wait til I think of it but I dun have the energy to now. Have things to work on and can’t afford to have myself in a mess. Hate the drives to work when I start thinking and have tears trickling down. Then there’s training. It was supposed to be only 1 class but in the end, had 2. Then if that isn’t enough, colleague asked me to take a beginner and a basic class. Those in the basic class have experience already, taking them on gives me chills. Last day of training is on Friday, only have the half day left before boss comes back from her 1 week holiday. See, she’s gone for a week but I have training. No partying at all. But it could have been worse, at least she can’t pop in halfway. Then the phone had to give up. Dunno if this is the last straw before I break down. Mum said that I dun need one. Dun need one? Whoever doesn’t have a phone these days? It isn’t only a tool for contacting bf, it’s my music, camera, reminder, alarm and account info. Couldn’t take pics, no reminders, couldn’t get the credit card no. at the bank. Fcuk fcuk fcuk. And this had to happen 1 day after something happened. Totally fcuked. And I’m not doing much. I dun even know why, either to punish myself, too tired to do anything or just dunno how and what to do.

I’m gonna tackle one at a time. It’s at times like these when I wanna feel like running to a monastery or something. Just wanna leave it all behind me. Dunno why I’m taking it so badly but guess it all stemmed from something. It’s at times like this when I feel I need God to turn to but..