Finally!!

After 4.5 months -133 days- I quit my job. It was a thought that never left my mind and was constantly debating with myself. Last Sunday, after squatting in the toilet crying over the phone to Timmy, I know that I’ve got enough. It will not get any better, and looking back, it was never right from day 1.

Phew.. I told myself to do it before I have time to reconsider. Just do it. I gave the letter on Monday, Timmy’s birthday, and expected to be out the very next day. Another single day is just so dreadful to bear. But nope, I was still there on Tuesday and even still there on Wednesday. Was getting desperate and frustrated by then.

So I was told that I was the 5th person to complain about BB, yet there was nothing done much earlier. But in the email that I sent to her boss after I left, she said that she had just guessed all along. Contradicting stories, hmm..

There were options proposed:
1. Allow me to fast track to do the analysis that I want
2. There will be a lot of research opportunities which is what I want
3. Have job rotation for me
4. Extend my probation so that I don’t feel the pressure to quit before I am confirmed.
5. Transfer me somewhere
6. Have me report to someone else
7. Talk to BB

Option 1: It’s like giving myself more trouble because my workload wouldn’t be lighten if I undertake the analysis.
Option 2: Can only be done in Jan 2009. Sorry then, I can’t even stand a single day here any longer.
Option 3: I want something done immediately. I heard FK saying to extend it until I find another job, but later this was not mentioned anymore. They can’t be that good to pay me while I find another job right?
Option 4: FK later said that this is not encouraged. Ok, fine. It is hard too cos I dunno where to be transferred. I know there are worse people in Toyota.
Option 5: GM said it can’t be done because the organisation structure is set for the year already.

I would have loved Option 5 the most and was so touched that FK proposed it. Talking to the fatso was out of the question; it would be awkward, I am this demoralised already, and she is a pendendam. They were saying that she will never change.

So out I go from there. I acknowledge that I should have brought this up earlier, but it was hard to pin all on her when I myself have faults at times. Giving myself time to improve, the dread has also intensified.

I felt better that people understood the reason I left. HR guessed the reason as soon as I told them I was quitting. The extent of her reputation was surprising.

I do feel bad when Nora said that we were supposed to fight together. Khai said that we were supposed to leave together. Blame me for buckling and cowering out.

On the final day, during the task handover, BB said that she hadn’t spent much time with me and she hadn’t talked to me regarding my analysis tasks were all taken off. Then we listed down my tasks and the time spent so that improvement can be done. We discovered that it would take 50 hours per week and that EXCLUDES the analysis that I was employed for. She said that if we had spoken earlier, the admin work can be passed to my assistants and I could still consider it. I purposely looked at my watch and told her ‘At 5.30pm, you ask me to consider?” Even the last 4 hours of the final day seemed like eternity.

Once Khai and Hiu said that I am getting better at work. At first, I was motivated by that; wanting to further improve but .. I didn’t have the time to say goodbye to a few people but thanks to FB, I found some of them. It was also funny that I have never spoke to some people before but the very first time was also my last time, when they spoke to me about my leaving.

I remembered to save 2 classic emails from BB. They are truly a classic.

Email #1:

Dear xxx,

I appreciate your passion in keeping a clean record and image for yourself and your Outlet.

If I was in your shoes, I would do the same too. However, I would also come to terms with reality too. That is, you and I live in an imperfect world and in an imperfect world - errors, clashing of boundaries, regrets, aging process, slowing down of metabolic rate, natural disasters, flash floods caused by human consumption, extinction of beautiful creatures caused by human related living patterns of today aka urbanisation, etc - happens. I am sorry that reality has to happen to you too.

(yada yada)

Trust the above information is clear. Have a nice day, Sharen and take care when driving home as the monsoon season came early this year.

Email #2:

Dear xxx,

I do not think we are in a position to question the customer why he's taken his own sweet time to bring the feedback to our attention. (it was already mentioned that investigation will still nevertheless be conducted. Even I myself questioned why the complain was only made 1 month later)

(statistics)

If you look at the statistics above, we definitely want to handle customers with complaints well as it yields a higher chance in those customers coming back to Toyota. Further, do you think Superman, Spiderman or Ben Tennyson will be action heroes if there isn't a problem that needs fixing? It is easier to be heroes in fixing problems than creating problems to fix - like Hiro Nakamura or Peter Petrelli in Heroes where you can't tell who's the real hero.

And I think all the superhero stories are not even related to the whole thing.

Right now, am sitting at home, staring at the laptop the whole day and the problem is, getting fat in the process cos keep wanting to eat =D